


Put some clothes on and bow to me

by Sociopathicnutellaeggplant



Category: Club Penguin, Durarara!!
Genre: Club Penguin - Freeform, God Izaya, I'll add sass, Insults, Internet, M/M, fashion penguins, later sexy stuff, naked, naked mystery penguin, popular Izaya, snowballs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 00:00:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10707888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sociopathicnutellaeggplant/pseuds/Sociopathicnutellaeggplant
Summary: A mystery man waltzes into Izaya's life of fame and fortune. This man however, seems not to be ashes of his birthday suit and can openly dish it.





	Put some clothes on and bow to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mystery man waltzes into Izaya's life of fame and fortune. He doesn't seem to be ashamed of his birthday suit and can certainly dish it.

The sun was setting, leaving the sky mixtures of orange, pink and purple. The days weather so far had been nothing short of brilliant, not a cloud in the sky, literally. The few birds who have found their homes in the city rest on powerlines, windowsills or that one tree in the park, singing their calming tune, resting with their families, bringing the day to a close. Cheerful figures skip from the building they spend countless hours sat at a desk, eyes glued to a screen, unblinking, unfeeling, soulless creatures. Local bars stock extra alcohol, changing the price tags to be higher than average, taking advantage of the people who will take their seats and babble about their unhappy lives. The city changed from being clogged up with people beeping their horns on the jammed roads to almost silent. The brief peace indicating people's small chance to rest and prepare for the night ahead. Cleaning houses, freshening up, readying clothes, preparing themselves to be somewhat more physically appealing, well, as appealing as you can be when work hours overtake sleep hours. Everyone in the city seemed frantic, excited, ready to let themselves go, wash away the week with excessive amounts of alcohol and whatever else finds it's way into their drink. Everyone, except Izaya. 

You see, to go out and party there's a simple requirement you must meet. This requirement is met by many without even trying to be met. This requirement comes in different forms, not anything special, it goes a little something like: not having an entire city hating you for constantly destroying people's lives. Y'know, just to give a random, off the bat example. 

Now, we have this loser-... what do you mean I'm not allowed to describe him as a loser? Come on, everyone's thinking it! Fine... Ahem, now we have this lovely young man at the prime age of 18 on a Friday afternoon, no assignments, no homework, just him to enjoy three nights. Being the intellectual man he is, he has finished all the books in his apartment and paid people to do his cleaning. He sits down at his desk, switches on his computer and does what every man his age does. He logs onto club penguin. It's perfectly normal for a man his age to play an online game and chat to children more than half his age. The time and money he has spent on the game has allowed him to acquire the priciest and the sleekest igloo, the largest wardrobe of accessories and clothing, special privileges, people fawning over him and trying to get into his pants. His inbox is yet again full of requests for friendships and postcards saying "we should be friends" or "let's hang out". He smirks and carefully sorts through all of the requests, rejecting them as if they were peasants. 

"Honestly, they expect me, the great Orihara Izaya to be friends with someone so basic?" He laughs to himself. After about ten minutes of making fun of people's penguins, Izaya decides it's time to spice up his own penguin. 

"Ugh, I've had this same outfit on for an hour now! How are people supposed to worship me if I'm wearing something so outdated?!" He gives the blonde haired penguin with a cowboy hat and angel wings a look of disgust. How could he ever make his penguin wear something so basic? He scrolled through his countless slots of clothing items with a thoughtful expression. 

"I could go Katy Perry Egyptian theme. Ugh, no!" He scrolls faster, back and forth angrily. He changed his penguins hair to a black cut with a fringe. He added a crown, a cute pink dress, large sunglasses, making the colour of his penguin purple. He took about ten minutes deciding on other accessories but went with a simple necklace and pink shoes. Once this ordeal was over, he waddled to his igloo to check up on his puffles. His igloo was expensive and furnished with expensive but minimal furniture, much like his own apartment. 

His basic routine was complete, so he headed to the lighthouse. He enjoyed the lighthouse because it wasn't as filled with people as town, so he had a chance to socialise with few people, sharing deeper conversations. He sat his penguin down on one of the beach chairs, making sure to look sleek and fabulous. A few penguins passed him, seeming more interested on going another way. A few penguins stopped because they recognised his username, and of course, he deleted the friend request instantly. 

He sat back, waiting for something interesting to happen. When it didn't, he considered maybe going to the pizza parlor or coffee shop, maybe the mines to play his favourite mini game. He made a sound of distaste and was just about to click on his map, when a snowball hit him. Not paying attention, he didn't see the direction it came from. He got furious. 

"How dare they!" He shouted, clicking on the chat box to type a message to the culprit. 

'Who the hell do you think you are?'

'Oh, I see how it is!'

'Hiding. What a coward!'

He typed angrily, hoping to force the offender to show themselves. He thought about rage quitting or just raging in general, he didn't want to get banned though. 

A black and white penguin waddled out from behind some fish nets. Izaya had to cover his eyes at the indecent display of nudity. Some people could be so repulsive, allowing their penguins to run around without any clothes on! 

Izaya:

'Ugh, put some clothes! '

Mystery penguin:

'Calm down, it's just a game. How old are you, 12? '

Izaya was about to explode. Steam blew from his ears, his eyes wide, shaking visibly. He was so unused to this treatment. People were supposed to worship him, bow down to him, respect him. Now he had just been abused by a naked penguin, both physically and verbally. 

"Oh, you’re going to get it!" Izaya growled, putting the penguins username into his notes, plotting the perfect plan to ruin his life. He would not get away with doing what he just did to Orihara Izaya. This. Meant. War. Izaya forced himself to take a deep breath, calming himself so he could resist losing it at the peasant who didn't know their place. He gently placed his fingers to the keys, typing the next words with a polite smile.

'I'm sorry, you and I got off on the wrong foot.' 

'How about we become friends? '

Izaya's lips turned into a mess of a smile, teeth largely showing. He look downward, placing his hands together, features darkening to something almost demonic. Revenge would be sweet. He watched the other penguin patiently, obviously a much slower typer than Izaya. Typing speed did not matter at this point. All that mattered is that Izaya showed this disrespectful penguin his place. He would destroy his world at any cost. 

'Alright :) '

Was all the message said. Izaya stared at the smiley face, facial expression changing from demonic to repulsed. 

"It is speaking to the great Orihara Izaya! How dare it give me a single word response like some cheap whore! It even added a smiley face! How dare it!" Izaya gripped his hair angrily, the only thing stopping him from losing it was the prospect of destroying the trash who dares to look down on him. He clicks on the other penguin with enough force to almost shatter his mouse. He grits his teeth and pressed the "request friend" button with all the hatred he can possibly display. He waits for a moment then gets a message saying he has already reached his friends limit. Izaya chuckles to himself, proud of how popular he is both in real life and in the digital world. He opens his friends list and deletes a few of the less useful users. 

Once he is satisfied, Izaya sends the request again, using considerably less force this time. The request is accepted within moments and he smirks widely and deviously. If he was going to destroy this penguin, he needed to make him feel shame. 

Izaya: 

'As celebration for our new friendship '

'We should hang out at my place <(^.^)>'

Izaya put on the fakest, friendliest tone he could manage. “Once they see my igloo, they will be put to shame! They won't even be able to be comfortable in a place as expensive as this!” He laughed madly at his own brilliance. The other penguin gave a simple “okay” before disappearing. Not exactly the sort of response he expected. He expected something more of a “oh great one, how kind of you to accept such a filthy, disrespectful peasant as myself into your perfect igloo. I'm am so honoured by your invitation! I will treasure this moment for the rest of my worthless existence. Oh great one, thank you!” But no, he got “okay”. 

With a sigh, Izaya made his way back to his igloo, realising how much extra effort this was going to require. He sighed again but deeper, moving his extra stylish penguin onto his expensive couch, watching as the other moves around his igloo. The other pauses, for what Izaya assumes to be typing. The other doesn't kiss his ass like all of his other visitors have. The other doesn't comment on how much it must cost or how lovely and modern it looks. Instead the other gives a blunt:

'You don't have much of a life, do you? '

If Izaya was drinking water, it would have been sprayed across his monitor. He couldn't believe the audacity of the other. Such an insult! He didn't reflect on how the other might have a slight point, instead he growled to himself. “I do have a life! I have an apartment that probably costs more than what you have ever earned. I am known by millions. I have destroyed countless lives, spent countless hours selling more information than you could store in that tiny brain of yours! How dare you!”.

After his sudden outburst, Izaya calmed down, feeling better letting out the rage that had built up. He simply watched as the other moved to the part of the couch next to him, making himself comfortable, as if he hadn’t just openly insulted his worth. He had almost forgotten about his reply, meaning the other probably thought he was correct. Izaya frowned, moving to type. 

'That's so mean! I just excel at everything I do!'

He couldn't deny that he felt he was being very truthful in that sentence. When the other didn't reply, he counted it as a win, even though deep down he couldn't convince himself that it was. With his first plan failed, Izaya began to move onto his next plan. Plan A version 2.0, because B’s aren't good enough for a god such as himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even sorry

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even sorry


End file.
